The Value of a Good Friend

               I often end up writing about bridges. They are, of course, symbolic in many ways and I have found ideas of crossing over, transitioning, making changes and arriving in new places compelling things to write about. And it was just recently that I found myself thinking of bridges again.

                I think it is rare to find a friend with whom you share the unique ability to communicate with in such a way where it makes no difference how much time has passed- even years- and yet the conversation continues. My good friend and I recently reunited after what I am ashamed to admit was a 4 year separation. We exchange the occasional informative email, but this was our first face-to-face for far too long. It’s not easy with both of our overwhelming schedules to find time to travel the distance between us, but I was glad to have the chance to finally visit her, if only for a brief day and a half. And, as always, we picked up our story exactly where we had left off.

                 The thing about this friend is that we are remarkably similar in a lot of ways, yet our lives have taken different paths for many different reasons. We have both had our share of successes and achievements as well as disappointments and hardships and distractions. So while our lives are, at the moment, very different, there is always plenty to discuss, plenty to think about and plenty to share.

                My friend lives in a very unique place. Looking out of the window of her apartment, the view is framed by two very impressive bridges- Hell Gate Bridge and the Triborough Bridge. Both (if I’m not mistaken) cross over from her home in Astoria into Manhattan, or in that direction at least. She is perched on the edge of one of the busiest places on Earth (as opposed to me who is perched on the edge of a bunch of farms, corn fields, and some very friendly chickens, as I recently discovered). Yet her home is quiet and warm and comfortable and I felt just as much at home there as in my farm land back home.

                As I said, it is rare to have a friend like mine and I don’t take that for granted. She is the kind of person who can and does succeed at everything she goes for. She is unafraid to take those challenges in life that would break a lesser person. She is brave enough to cross those, or any other bridges. I am in awe of her accomplishments, her spirit and her incredible knowledge.  

                It wouldn’t be completely wrong to say that I doubt myself, on occasion. (I can hear my therapist laughing in my head…). It has happened, more than once, that I have come to a bridge in my life and been absolutely terrified to cross, or even to take a step forward. I wonder if there are places I could have gone if I didn’t carry that fear. I wonder if moving too slowly has colored my life for the worse at times. But my courageous and amazing friend, who has braved so many things, reminds me this isn’t true. She thinks that I am doing ok. She, a person I admire more than I can say, calls me brave, tells me I haven’t screwed it all up. And while the rational part of me already knows it, her words, along with the words of my other amazing, daily supporters, shore up that knowledge and help me choose the next bridge to cross.

                So here is a big thank you to my friend, who has remained nameless just in case she would like to stay that way! Thank you to those people who love me and see me and believe in me. You are all the wind that pushed me forward, and I am forever grateful.