Then I deleted the list.
Here's the problem:
In writing down that list of goals, I looked back at the last year. It was a mixed one - good and bad. All told, though, there was far more in the good column - at the forefront of which is the daily miracle of those gorgeous, brilliant children of mine.
Have you seen them?? (PAUSE FOR PROUD MOMMA MOMENT!)
So life, as it does, took some wild swings in both directions but has settled neatly and pretty solidly on the good side. And I feel pretty confident that there are so many more good things to come, in whatever shape or form that may be- how could they not, when I am surrounded by so many loving people, such wonderful children and so many incredible opportunities?! But to sit here, look at everything that has happened this year, and plan to outdo it next year seems ungrateful, or at the very least, dismissive of how much good that's happened.
If there is one thing I wish very strongly to teach my kids, it's to be appreciative of what they have. But let's face it, kids in general tend to take for granted what is given to them, so it's an ongoing life lesson that we continue to work on. But I began to wonder if this list of goals was the equivalent of the same thing for me. That's not to say I won't try to do those things I love and want to do (write, race, grow, learn, etc), but I would like, for the time being, to sit back and thank every lucky star in the sky that I have what I have- whether it's been earned or given to me- instead of focusing on the "what else" or the "what next."
So, let me just say, in the light of one year coming to an end and another one about to begin.....Oh my goodness, look at everything and everyone I am so blessed to have. I AM SO DAMN LUCKY. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
Happy New Year
