Evelyn, at the beautifully complex
age of 4, wants to be many things. I
know they translate to different sorts of things in her mind, which show the
ever-changing, constantly growing facets of her development. She wants to be an astronaut (fly in a rocket
ship), a ballerina (wear a tutu), a doctor (help people/give out stickers), and
a mom (be in charge of everything.)
Of course, Roman at age 2, wants to be Thomas the Tank Engine, which is ambitious,
for sure, but darn cute. It is
exhilarating as a parent to imagine Evelyn becoming something that she aspires
to be. Obviously this is early on and
I’m not sure there is a huge job market for dancing astronaut doctor mommies,
but the possibilities for her are so wonderfully open at this point.
When you think of all the steps you
have to go through to become an adult, it is a daunting idea- from the first
day of kindergarten to checking off your choice of major on your college
applications. And even then most people
don’t know what they want to be. I’m
envious of the people who were able to choose early, gain a specific set of
skills and set out on an actual career path.
It seems, more and more, that people who are able to do that are in the
distinct minority. Instead it seems as
though people accidentally happen upon jobs, good or bad, or discover their
passion later in life and either have to start over or leave it behind.
I have this (probably delusion)
idea that there is a jackpot of a job out there waiting for me. All that’s left to do is wait for my number
to be called. There are, I know, perfect
jobs- ones that would pay well, use and develop my skills, talents and
experience, and that I would completely love.
But that’s like saying you will eventually run into Johnny Depp at
Target where he will instantly realize that he is in love with you and (after
paying for your paper towels and gum) whisk you away to live a perfectly happy
life. (Might be, subconsciously, why I
go to Target so often. Hmmm….).
So here we are in the meantime,
hoping and wishing, searching, applying and interviewing. And all of that can be draining and
frustrating and disappointing. But
here’s the thing. The experience of
looking for a job that exactly fits me, makes me more confident in that
me. I am happy to go out there and be
that person that is right for the job I want.
In other words, I know what I want and I’m going to get it.
