It kills me to write that. This picture has always been one of my favorites. Her perfect curls, her sweet little fingers and chubby cheeks, the lemur's soft gray fur.....and the idea that my baby girl was seeing something she had never seen before. But there is so much more going on, so much that I struggle with, so much that keeps me up at night and makes me question life.
I have always loved the zoo. I love animals, so it makes sense, right? When else does a girl from New England get to see a lion, an elephant, a rhino, a ring-tailed lemur from Madagascar? There is no shortage of places that are willing to round up these animals and throw them in cages and behind glass walls in order to give spectators that experience that they would, most likely, otherwise never get. Good for us, huh?
Pause here for a few thoughts:
*In 2015 the world freaked out when a dentist from Minnesota named James Palmer shot and killed a famous lion named Cecil who lived in a national park. The lion wore a GPS collar, was tracked by researchers, was known to locals and was generally considered a loved member of the community. Palmer claims he was mislead by his hunting guides and was only trying to legally practice an "activity" he loves. Loves. Loves being lead by a guide to an animal and killing it. For fun. Cool guy. Way to spend your free time.
*In 2016 a three year old boy at the Cincinnati zoo climbed into a gorilla's zoo enclosure and had a pretty intense encounter with a silver-back gorilla named Harambe, who was shot and killed by zoo officials when they determined that the boy was in danger. It was a HORRIBLE tragedy in every sense. Horrible that the child could find a way into the enclose. Horrible that a mother had to watch as her baby was dragged through the water by an animal that could easily crush him in a second. Horrible that an endangered animal had to die. And horrible that a beautiful animal made to live in the forests of Africa was instead in a concrete enclosure in the middle of Ohio. Once again, the world freaked out.
*Also in 2016 a 2 year old boy was mauled to death by an alligator at a Disney World resort. It was an absolute tragedy. No one on Earth is denying that. I can't image that family's pain. But no one said ONE WORD when Disney World officials scanned the whole lake and slaughtered every alligator they could find. Not remove, not relocate, but outright killed. No one cared. I guess because alligators aren't as cute an cuddly as lions and gorillas? I don't know.
Somewhere along the line people decided they should control when and where animals exist. Those alligators will killed because they were being alligators- in their own environment, doing what alligators do. The lion was killed because a bored dentist from Minnesota wanted to...what?...feel more manly? Feel dominance over an animal that was minding it's own business? The gorilla was forced to exist in an environment in which it didn't belong, and then was murdered because humans couldn't control that environment properly.
People have incredible skills of self-protection. In many ways we put blinders up to protect us from things that are too horrible or uncomfortable for us to deal with. Most people are so far removed from the meat industry that few people ever have to see the animals living in deplorable conditions, don't have to see the horror of their slaughtering and butchering, never have to see the pain of their short existence and their gut-wrenching end. Instead you see a steak, neatly wrapped in the cooler at the grocery store. Simple, easy and, for you, completely painless.
I had blinders up too. Not about meat- that one became pretty clear to me a long time ago. But humankind's relationship with animals is so much bigger than that. It's not just our dogs and cats that we love so fiercely. (How do we not see the dichotomy of eating a hamburger one minute, while pledging life-long loyalty to our "Fur Babies" the next?). It's about the animals in the zoo, at Busch Gardens, at the circus. It's about the falseness and cruelty of putting wild animals on display simply for us to see. I'm sorry I didn't see that part for so long.
I am in the minority. People will vehemently disagree with something that I see as so simple, so morally obvious. People will laugh and say "But bacon!" as if that is an argument for ending a life. Is cruelty that easy to people?
But I digress. Back to Evelyn and the lemur. I hope that I can find a way to continue teaching her to have respect for all living things. This picture, which used to bring me so much happiness until I stopped allowing myself to wear those blinders and put my own satisfaction before the lives of others, still holds her innocence and youth. And mine, in many ways. May she grow up with better sight than I had for a long time.
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